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John Doe Dimslow and The Dimslow Report
04.14.06
Congratulations are due myself -- I John Doe Dimslow -- and my very own Dimslow Report which has just recorded its 17 trillionth unique visitor. Yes, that's correct...of course, you know how these things are counted, you don't have to be all that unique to be scored. So, the good news is: 17 trillion hits. The bad news: all but four visitors have been members of the Dimslow family. Yes, remember I've mentioned what a large and active family we Dimslows are. Why, we practically cover the whole world, though not quite. In any event, we are hoping for our fifth nonDimslow visitor very soon. Until then, it's all Dimslow family values from here on out. Dimslows unite! Stop the war! Demilitarize! And spread the wealth! And then maybe people will have more time for a good old fashioned Dimslow Byte.
12.22.05
These people on strike in New York City - What is their problem? Don't they know it is their patriotic duty in life to be good loyal consumers and wage slaves? to accept difficult and in some cases dangerous work conditions without so much as a peep in say about for how long and for what wages and benefits and pensions they will work in the expensive city? What is wrong with the thinking of these impertinent wage slaves? and how have they managed to slip the the various mechanisms of standardized training in obedience set up by schools, religions, governments, and corporations nationwide (and worldwide too)? Strike!? Absurd. Good loyal consumers of Patriotica know that they should not strike against their masters. They should submit with a smile. Just ask my cousin Annie Wageslave and her friend Jo Lynne Dissentnow. They'll tell you.
12.21.05
Now, Dimslow is dumb. He freely admits it, I do. When Congress and the President say we live in a "free market" society and when I go to work and my boss is there telling me what to do, I admit I am dumb and fully stupid for not being able to understand the real meaning of this free market we live in and amongst and around and under, and when I go to the real market and see so much needlessly overpriced or toxic or poor quality goods for sale, I think to my poor Dimslow self I am free to buy all of this needlessly overpriced or toxic or poor quality goods if I can afford it, but damn I wish I had a real say in its production, distribution, and everything else I don't remotely have a real say in, in this here free market society, so I am told.
So I am dumb as the damn door nail, which is not to say quiet. I am dumb therefore I am. Which is not to say quiet.
But please. The FBI. They're the Federal Bureau of Investigation. They're the Feds. They serve the state, at the order of the state. That seems a bit political to me. But apparently that would be everything dumb to think, I learn - and I'm learning more and more everyday - because the Feds say this:
"'The F.B.I. does not target individuals or organizations for investigation based on their political beliefs,' Mr. Miller said [a spokesman for the bureau]. 'Everything we do is carefully promulgated by federal law, Justice Department guidelines and the F.B.I.'s own rules.' "
Now, I like to think I can appreciate a good careful promulgation just as well as the next guy - okay, whatever - but when the Feds are "conducting surveillance as part of a 'Vegan Community Project'' and writing about "the Catholic Workers groups as semi-communistic" you begin to get the sense that the Feds are not as apolitical as they might want you think. In fact you begin to get the sense that what the FBI amounts to is a National Political Police - and that they often work against the people rather than for them, too often working on behalf of unjust power rather than helping to ensure the rights of the people.
So I called up my cousin Annie Wageslave who happened to be having lunch with her dear friend Jo Lynne Dissentnow. And I said to dear Annie, "Dear Annie, any of them FBI NPP folks ever come knocking on your door or snapping your photo or tapping your wires that you know of, and if you do know of, you just let old John Doe Dimslow know of it, and I'll be glad to look up those naughty NPP folks and have a nice little neighborly chat with them."
And Annie Wageslave she says, "Well, John Doe, now that you mention it...." And boy you would not believe the details of intrusive and aggressive NPP behavior and that of official others that Annie Wage and her dear friend Jo Lynne Dissentnow told me all about.
Or maybe you would.
Maybe we most all do, long since by now. Most all.
12.20.05
I called the police. Sometimes you have to. I called the police on the President of the United States. I told them, "He's spying on us. Illegally. Aren't you going to do something about it?" Of course the President has long since been given the legal right to spy, as long as he gets a court warrant for it, which can be legally applied for days after the spying actually occurs, so there is no problem about "Oh, we didn't have time." And the court almost never turns down a request. But Bush didn't seek to act legally? Why? Because what he's doing is probably too outrageous for anyone outside the Bush mafia to go along with.
But breaking laws is nothing new for Bush, and the rest. I called the police when Bush invaded Iraq. That was illegal. I called the police when President Clintom bombed Iraq, and elsewhere - all illegal.
And what do the police say down here in Dimslow Hollow?
"Sir, that's a bit outside our jurisdiction."
That's what they always say.
"Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free," I pronounce, putting on my best mock preacher's voice. "Or is the truth outside your jurisdiction, too?"
"I suppose so, yes, sir, maybe, I can't say as I know exactly. I don't expect it's here in the manual - standard operating procedure and all.
"No truth?"
"No, I guess not."
"And you won't arrest the President? He commits crime after crime for all the world to see."
"Would you like me to send a squad car all the way to Washington to circle outside the White House just to have a look? Check for disturbances?"
"No point. The crimes are committed all across the country and world, my friend. They only originate in the Whitest of Houses."
"Well that may be."
"So - no arrest?"
"Not by us, sir. You?"
"A citizen's arrest? Believe me I've tried."
"If I recall correctly, you still have the right. Unless it was tossed out in the Patriotica Act."
"They say I don't have the authority."
"The authority - or the power?"
"Ain't it the truth."
12.19.05
Dimslow asks the gentle reader to imagine for even a moment a United States of America in which this, below, would be done even for people of the U.S. itself. Meanwhile Venezuela is supplying below market cost oil to some of the low income communities in the U.S., while U.S. oil companies continue on as usual in this year of record profits. Dimslow says, If we can imagine it...:
Tom Fawthrop Castro's 'Miracle' Cures the Poor of Blindness
The rich tourists whose luxury yachts once crowded the idyllic Marina Hemingway complex on the outskirts of the Cuban capital are shocked to find all Havana's hotel rooms fully booked until mid-2006. More than a dozen hotels have been temporarily closed to tourists to make way for a different kind of visitor. Most of them arrive nearly blind; but all will be able to see perfectly before they leave.
A remarkable humanitarian programme is under way here, which aims to restore the sight of six million people through free eye surgery. Launched in July by the 79-year-old Cuban President, Fidel Castro, and Venezuela's Socialist leader, President Hugo Chavez, Operation Miracle has brought daily planeloads of the poor from across Latin America and the Caribbean to Havana for surgery. Cuba provides the medical skills, Venezuela the petro-dollars.
People suffering from cataracts and other eye conditions that can be quickly remedied are candidates.
Cuba's comprehensive, free healthcare system has a ratio of one doctor for every 170 Cubans, compared with 188 in the US and 250 in the UK.
12.18.05
The revolution may not be televised, but might it not be broadcast? Makes a Dimslow wonder. Seems like what left/progressive efforts need as much as anything is a national/international TV channel, or three....
"Social movements have flourished here since Chavez's failed coup in February, 1992, and his televised, one-minute explanation of his motives. The “Bolivarian” uprising of junior officers lent momentum to an anti-party sentiment that had been building among the popular classes since the drastic implementation of neoliberal reforms by President Carlos Andrés Pérez in 1989. This momentum led to the entry of many previously excluded citizens into political culture, and to the formation of many radical social movements focused on the day-to-day grievances of poor Venezuelans."
12.17.05
God. God this. God that. God over here. God over there. Good God. My God. O God. For God's sake.
Blg. Blg this. Blg that. Blg over here. Blg over there. Good Blg. My Blg. O Blg. For Blg's sake.
As far as anyone knows, God doesn't exist any more than Blg does. But the fact that many people think God does exist means that these people are capable everyday of swallowing a huge lie. (Or a sheer falsehood, depending.)
Lies like: Iraq was a threat to the United States. Lies like: Poverty and unemployment cannot be quickly eliminated. Lies like...well, where does it end? After all, if we can be trained to believe a huge influential lie/falsehood day in and day out, then we are much more susceptible to believing any other lie that others are trying to sell. So let's stop the lying and start the thinking and questioning. Let's start the understanding. And that means using reason coupled with evidence. If old Dimslow can do it.... We all can. Together. For Blg's sake.
Because we want to help our communities, large and small, we should help our communities, but not by lying to and with them. If we need some good ideals to rally around, we would do well to sell the gold, ditch the lies, and start here: Universal Declaration of Human Rights. And improve from there.
Andre Vltchek: "Religion teaches submission. It has always been the best ally of the status quo. Almost any oppressive government or movement in the past and present has chosen religion as its pillar. It helps to decompose reason.... You see, religions feel they don't have to prove anything. 'You just have to believe,' they say. Can any decent society be based on that?"
12.16.05
Holly Sklar reports that "Since 2000, America's billionaire club has gained 76 more members while the typical household has lost income and the poverty count has grown by more than 5 million people.
"Poverty and inequality take a daily toll seldom seen on television. 'The infant mortality rate in the United States compares with that in Malaysia -- a country with a quarter the income,' says the 2005 Human Development Report."
As more people get richer, more people get poorer. Well, who said life was fair? Hopefully the US will continue to increasingly become a country of great poor masses and a handful of select billionaires. The more poor the better. The more billionaires too. Think of the sitcoms we could create based on the scenario. In one episode, a US billionaire could rape a poor woman who could then have a baby who dies who might have survived in Malaysia, but the woman couldn't afford a plane ticket there, but the billionaire donates to a philanthropy that provides funds to bury the dead baby for free, so then a politician could give an uplifting speech about kindliness, poetic justice, and things working out in the end in this great democracy of ours, of we the people, by the people, for the people - and surely not of the owners, by the owners, and for the owners, at the expense of the owned - just like President Bush recently gave a speech about a dead US soldier who carried a poem he wrote in his pocket the day he was killed in Iraq titled, "Never Quit," and so President Bush said, "we will never quit," and we never have and guess what the death and destruction toll is now in Iraq all funded by your tax dollars and mine as swiped by the billionaires and the pals of the billionaires who make sure the babies they kill get buried, sometimes, and the people they rape, well they get what they had coming, is the way they of the money gushing system see it - or what on Earth could anyone possibly do about it anyway. After all, everyone knows you can't throw money at a problem, you know, you can only throw bombs, but, "Our hands are tied!" they cry. "We aren't allowed to bomb the poor!" unless they live in Iraq and assorted countries around the globe. Or in Philadelphia - etc. In which case, we don't much care what's allowed or not.
12.15.05
"The Bush administration had long said a ban on cruel, inhuman and degrading practices did not legally apply to suspects held overseas."
That about says it all. But then legality has often scarcely slowed any administration, Democrat or Republican, where plunder is involved:
"Throughout the world, on any given day, a man, woman or child is likely to be displaced, tortured, killed or 'disappeared,' at the hands of governments or armed political groups. More often than not, the United States shares the blame." –Amnesty International, Rogue State, introductory quotation.
12.14.05
You gotta hand it to a guy, and a government, and a media who think people are as dumb as the day is long - they never miss an opportunity to make fools of themselves:
"Answering critics who have said he had offered no clear definition of victory in Iraq, Bush offered a succinct summation. 'Victory will be achieved by meeting certain objectives: when the terrorists and Saddamists can no longer threaten Iraq's democracy, when the Iraqi security forces can protect their own people, and when Iraq is not a safe haven for terrorists to plot attacks against our country,' he said. 'These objectives, not timetables set by politicians in Washington, will drive our force levels in Iraq'."
Democracy? Polls show that Iraqis want the US military to withdraw. Bush has declined democracy.
Protect their own people? What day will it be "when the Iraqi security forces can protect their own people" from US bombings, sanctions, and invasions?
A safe haven for terrorists? Wasn't Florida a safe haven for terrorists when some of the 9-11 bombers trained and learned to fly planes and lived there? So why hasn't the US destroyed Florida and Floridians in order to save it?
And of course, Iraq is far more of a "terrorist haven" due to the American invasion than it was before. It stands to reason that if you want less terrorism, you take away the causes of it. But fools don't reason in regard to what they don't care about. There's unimaginable oil wealth and financial power in Iraq, in controlling it. That's what pathological fools care about. Or, is the word, Overlords? Not so much oil in Florida. And so, invade accordingly. On principle, of course. On principle, always.
12.13.05
Old John Doe Dimslow can't stand it anymore, his own silence. He has no time but can scarcely bear to be silent.
Last night (that is, very early this morning) the state of California executed Stanley Tookie Williams, former gang leader, alleged murderer, convicted, maintained his innocence. Yes, that's correct. We kill to show that killing is wrong.
An eye for an eye and the whole world is blind.
Q: John Doe Dimslow, what do you think about capital punishment?
A: In other words - state homicide. It's a crime.
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