This is John Doe Dimslow, with The Dimslow Report. Learn more about John Doe Dimslow, the Dimslow name and the Dimslow clan, at the original Dimslow Report where I give my thoughts on the 2004 U.S. presidential election. That'll fix you right up. Now I'll go along tapping my thoughts, though I may go back from time to time and expand upon, add links to, even revise the aforesaid such thoughts and whatnot. What I'll leave is the original date of post. Excerpts below. Vote Dimslow - 2008.

"Then comes the modern question: why is there not today (or at least so it seems to me), why is there no longer an art of intellectual persuasion, or imagination? Why are we so slow, so indifferent about mobilizing narrative and the image? Can't we see that it is, after all, works of fiction, no matter how mediocre they may be artistically, that best arouse political passion?" -Roland Barthes

POLITICAL JOURNAL of JOHN DOE DIMSLOW archives The Dimslow Report - OVERVIEW 8.09.05  Cindy Sheehan   Hell no she won't go Old John Doe Dimslow would just like to take a moment to say, Hat's off, to Cindy Sheehan, founder of Gold Star Families for Peace, and currently camped outside of President Bush's ranch near Crawford, Texas. 5.15.05   Discrimination and Other Wrongs   Standing up Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 7: "All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law.... 5.08.05   Mom Against War   Thundora Dimslow Speaks Rather than speak of me, my dear beloved son asked if I would be interested in speaking for myself, this fine, so-called, Mother's Day. Now, what a mother has got to have a day all to herself for is beyond me. Hell, to me, everyday is mother's day, just like before I became a mother, everyday to me was simply woman's day. 5.06.05   People Are People?   UDHR Article 6 Universal Declaration of Human Rights Article 6: "Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law." Even a Dimslow can see that this so-called human rights article is clearly outrageous. What is this, some kind of anarchistic doctrine? Everyone a person? Everyone? Surely the framers and ratifiers of the UDHR have not met all the Dimslow family. 5.05.05   Investing In Dimslowland   Militarize us all The Dimslow proposal is to shut down all the schools in the United States and convert them into boot camps for the military. Train everyone. Then skim off the few wits needed to run things and put the rest of the poor slobs - about 80 percent of all students - directly into the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines. This will not only guarantee plenty of lethal cannon fodder for years to come, but also provide the standard veterans' health care and retirement benefits to many who would otherwise go without.... 5.04.05   Prison Power   One of every 138 At long last a final solution to the unemployment problem: imprison the populace. Lock up all us Dimslows everywhere. 5.03.05   Democrats Bankrupt?   Pope Catholic?  In a recent article, a newspaper columnist in Maine, John Buell, asks, Are the Democrats bankrupt as a political party? Ask a Dimslow. Is the Pope Catholic?  5.02.05   The Duck Gets a Good Deal   And Dimslow?  Regulars readers of the Dimslow Report will no doubt be glad to hear that the federal government has successfully cared for the T-Bill Duck. The duck and her eleven chicks now inhabit the wilds of Rock Creek Park. Thus the government has proven remarkably and commendably capable of ensuring full duck rights, in direct correspondence with the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. If only now the government would live up to its similar legal and moral obligations regarding humans. 5.01.05   May Day   Dimslow reckons  Poor old John Doe Dimslow once wrote a poem about May Day - you know, the worker's day, the worker's struggle, one of those many special days, okay, everyday, that should be known as a true blue democracy day—one of those days of course that our glorious noble leaders scorn. May Day.... 4.30.05   UDHR Article 5    Torture-hawks condemned  Which brings us to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights article 5: "No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment." So naturally the US officials responsible for torture should get promoted, not punished. The promotions keeping rolling right on in.... 4.29.05   UDHR Article 4   Institutional slavery and Patriotica Which brings us to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights article 4: "No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms." Tell it to the marines.... 4.23.05   Ambitions   A Dimslow poem - ambitions            more poems today i wrote a letter to the editor every letter becomes an article every article an obsession... 4.21.05   Blum Questions God   Dimslow finds no clothes Now, I consider William Blum to be a true Dimslow. Apparently the election of the new pope has got his thinking gourd going good. At the end of his recent article "The Anti-Empire Report, No. 20," my man Blum - who knows as much about Uncle Sam's imperialism as anyone - has "Some questions for God".... 4.19.05   Dem, Rep, Big Biz Death Wish   Global warming I, John Doe Dimslow, have been planting garden. I know, I know, everyone says it's too early to do so here in these Appalachian wilds. But what with Global warming, Global pollution, Global frustration and Global insanity of all sorts, the way I figure it, if I were to figure it, it might actually be way too late to get the corn, beans, peas, tomatoes, radish, fennel, lettuce, onion, pepper, broccoli and whatall out. No, using the Dimslow intuition I sense it isn't too late and it isn't too early to get on with it. And getting on with it is what it's all about. 4.14.05   Article 3   And the right to know Working our way through the articles in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, I, John Doe Dimslow, arrive at Article 3 - short and sweet - "Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person." Hear that, Uncle Sammy? "Everyone." 4.11.05   The Duck and the Child     Rights enough for all By all accounts, the T-Bill duck continues to do well. More power to the duck. Imagine that, a government that uses its full resources to take care of the inhabitants of the land (and water). If only the Dimslows could do as well.   4.09.05   Up With The Duck!   And Dimslow rights too John Doe Dimslow here in the Dimslow Report is happy to report that the Associated Press reports that a brown mallard duck incubating eggs in a mulch pile outside the U.S. Treasury Department main entrance is being protected by the U.S. Secret Service, which has set up metal rails around the nest and provided a water bowl....   4.07.05   Satire, No Satire   We're Number One!  Poor old John Doe Dimslow's arm is going to fall off if he has to keep raising it to point his index finger to the sky while leading the favorite chant of the USA, We're Number One! I, Dimslow, have Andrew L. Shapiro's book to thank for that: We're Number One: Where America Stands and Falls in the New World Order. 4.04.05   Freedom, Equality, Dignity   UDHR follies Well, old John Doe Dimslow may have to modify his 2008 campaign platform a bit. You see, I had always heard good things about the Universal Declaration of Human Rights but had never actually read it. Now as the campaign begins to swing into operation I see that the first Article may present something of a problem.... 4.03.05   The Phony in the Everyday     The Dimslow way II To be phony most of all is to be phony with yourself, to think that you as a good and loyal D and R are anything more than a corporate pussycat, a lapdog to be patted on the head by the masters that rule, an ever so nice person who gives the okay to slaughter, and submits to the preachers of silence and worse, and gawks at the entertainers of fluff and gore and trivia, and esteems the teachers of all-but-nothing and nothing and less, and nods at the convenient lies and perpetuates the same... 4.02.05   Fictitious Versus Phony     The Dimslow way It's good to be a fictitious character. Who better to run for President of the United States in these unreal times? There's a big difference between being fictitious and being phony. Being fictitious means using imagination to reach toward truth. Being phony means pretending to be one thing while actually being another. Being fictitious means using the imagination to come alive. Being phony means being fake and a lie. 4.01.05   Vote Dimslow  2008   JDD announces candidacy I, John Doe Dimslow, hereby declare my candidacy for President of the United States. This is not an April Fool's joke. Though I wish it were. 3.30.05   Averting Disaster   The wisdom of the leaders Being the stupid poor old John Doe Dimslow that I am, I feel more fortunate than I can possibly say to have such smart leaders as we do in this country. I mean, if we didn't have such smart, big-hearted leaders, if policies and politics were left up to short-sighted lame-brains like myself, there's no telling what kind of problems we would have brought down on so many of our little old heads. 3.28.05   Anti-Renter Statement of Intent   A Dimslow cousin poem   I am an anti-renter. I am against renting my life to others. I don't want a lover who lives apart from me, who goes to her work and I to mine. I don't want my blood loves, much less my partner, knifed to the bone by the corporate blade or the atomized career. I am against the solitary confinement of the wage slot. I don't want relief, a patch, a pretty good fix; I want a co-op.... 3.22-3.26   Pax Americana   The war machine satirizes itself  Some days old John Doe Dimslow doesn't have to flex even a muscle when the establishment does his work for him by satirizing itself. The corporate press reports that "American forces" have declared that "Fallujah is the safest city in Iraq," despite the ongoing "scattered attacks in the city." And the corporate media also report that Fallujah residents say, "It's the safest city in Iraq because it's a prison," with the city semi-blockaded as "the price of their freedom." "Freedom." Meanwhile, the local government is in "disarray"; students are unable to reach schools; very few have phone service; some women are unable to reach hospitals or clinics and so are giving birth at home.... 3.22-3.26   Iraq, The 51st American State   The Conquest of oil With gas prices at record levels and oil costs on the verge of going even higher, there is only one solution that John Doe Dimslow can see: make Iraq the 51st state. Now I realize this may disappoint folks in Puerto Rico and the District of Columbia, and England, Australia, and Israel, etc., all of which at one time or another have seemed to be vying to become the 51st state, but given the recent surge in gas and oil prices I think there is no time to waste in bringing Iraq formally into the Union. Iraq has already had elections so there should be no problems making the change official, little more than a few minor bureaucratic details, because surely Uncle Sam is strong enough to intimidate the elected rulers into signing on as number 51. Of course the name "Iraq" will have to go. Something like Oila would work, I think, since it would seem to fit well with, say, Ohio and Iowa, a couple of rock solid middle American states. 3.22-3.26   America Incorporated   Privatization—rollback of democracy Well, what the hell, John Doe Dimslow has got mighty sick and tired of pittering around with one little reform here and another little reform there and has decided it is high time we get to the grand cure that promises to take care of all our troubles for all time. No, I'm not talking about simply up and blowing up the world—a possibility to which someday I will return - I'm talking about the utter incorporation of all. America Incorporated. Privatizing the government, totally. 3.13-3.20   Joy of Poverty   The facts of inequality by design John Doe Dimslow had a nice long satiric note he planned to scribble out explaining how poverty was such a wonderful thing, especially in the United States of America, because in this richest of all countries in the world, a good bit of poverty helps to keep America number one in the world, in inequality. And who doesn't want to be number one in just about anything? 3.13-3.20   Harvest the Ill   health care and coverage scandal Health care. Is it not supposed to mean anything to me if my neighbors get sick and can't get cured because they don't have health insurance and then cough all over my family at work or in the store and my family gets sick because my neighbors don't have health insurance because our government - ours, so called - is in total and direct violation of the law it signed off on decades ago, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 25.... 3.13-3.20   Guns for Hire   Mercenary recruitment and plunder of oil They're coming after John Doe Dimslow Junior now, at school. In this month of March, two years after the start of the ground invasion of Iraq, and with the deaths of both Iraqi guerillas and civilians and U.S. soldiers and private mercenaries mounting every day, U.S. military recruiters are having trouble recruiting soldiers into the "all-volunteer" forces. So they have to make it a mercenary military of Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marine troops to go along with the private mercenaries. They have to offer cash to kill: "$20,000 bonus for enlisting, $9,000 more if enlistees shipped out in the next 30 days and even better, $70,000 for college".... 3.13-3.20   Gnaw the Corpse   Thoughts on social security "reform" First, I must say it sure is amusing to watch the D's and R's - need I call them Dumblicans and Repugnocrats? - bicker about raising the minimum wage either one cent, in the case of the R's, or two cents, in the case of the D's. Now I know really that they were arguing about raising it a dollar-plus versus two dollars-plus, but coming from these representatives of fat cats, it might as well be a penny or two.