4.07.05 Satire, No Satire We're Number One!
Poor old John Doe Dimslow's arm is going to fall off if he has to keep raising it to point his index finger to the sky while leading the favorite chant of the USA, We're Number One!
I, Dimslow, have Andrew L. Shapiro's book to thank for that: We're Number One: Where America Stands and Falls in the New World Order.
Shapiro tells it straight: the United States compared to the top twenty major industrialized nations ranked last in humanitarian aid to developing countries but first in giving military aid to those same countries.
Meanwhile at home the U.S. ranked last in spending on the poor, the aged, and the disabled, and first in military spending.
And the U.S. ranked number one in big homes, and number one in homelessness.
Number one in real wealth, and number one in unequal wealth distribution.
Number one in billionaires and number one in children and elderly in poverty.
Number one in executive salaries and number one in inequality of pay, and last in paid vacation days.
Number one in not voting - because last in voter turnout.
And the U.S. ranked number one in U.N. dues unpaid and number one in Security Council vetoes since 1980 - since the U.S. attitude was "My way or we'll bomb your highway."
Number one in membership (by the population) in human rights groups but number one in not ratifying international human rights treaties (by the government).
Number one in ranking the importance of God in life and number one in murder, gun murder especially.
Number one in the murder of children.
Number one in deaths by gun.
Number one in deaths by capital punishment.
Number one in incarceration.
Number one in percentage of the population who were victims of a crime.
Number one in spending on advertising and public relations per capitamuch of it lies or manipulative half truths or the encouragement of utter mindlessness.
Number one in total health spending but number 13 in public health spending.
Number one in the percentage of population without health insurance.
Number one in not offering paid maternity leave.
Number one in infant mortality.
Number one in percentage of infants born at low birth weight.
Number one in death of children younger than five.
Number one in incidence of cancer among men.
Number one in incidence of breast cancer.
Number one in beef consumption per capita and number on in coronary bypass operations.
Number one in belief in God, the devil, heaven, and hell.
And number one in fear and submission to those in authority.
Number one in private spending on education but near last in public spending on education.
Number one in not rewarding teachers.
In sum, the U.S., the supposed leader of the free world and the economy, especially as pronounced daily by politicians and the corporate and mainstream media, and by corporate spokespeople, educators and other officials, is far from number one, often dead last, in health care, education, housing, environmental protection, safety, freedom, financial security, democracy, and peace.
Shapiro's book was published over a decade ago, but little has changed since - at least for the better. And as far as at least this Dimslow can figure out, Shapiro's book is out of print - which is no surprise, since the U.S. is number one in books not published. That is, the U.S. is last in book titles published per capita. And number one in televisions per capita and time spent watching.
All together now, Dimslows of the world unite and declare: We're number one! We're number one! We're number one!
Satire intended.
No satire intended.
Satire intended.
No satire intended.
Satire intended....
